The bad news is that The Curse has developed the habit of not following through, which makes it hard to watch on with much excitement. I could only climb “the blue rope” - the one in which knots had been tied a few feet apart to serve as footholds for the kids with little upper body strength. I, for one, never got to the top of the rope in all my years of public schooling.

Surely, the recently orphaned are exempt from that particular timeworn American trauma. If Abshir was dead or even just gravely injured, I doubt the series would have spent such an agonizing amount of time on whether Nala could climb the rope in gym class. I was worried that Whitney’s chiropractor had killed Abshir in the comments section, several of you seemed certain that Abshir had been paralyzed by the man’s unforgiving neck adjustments. Thinking about watching it made me nauseous. I procrastinated watching this week’s episode of The Curse as long as I could (while still having any chance of hitting my deadline).

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